The Art of Happiness by Dalai Lama: The Way to Inner Peace

I cannot forget the day I chose to read The Art of Happiness. It was a rainy and gloomy afternoon. I did not know that it would alter my view of happiness. The book is not a self-help book. It is a compilation of the discussions between the psychiatrist Howard Cutler and the spiritual leader of Tibet, the Dalai Lama. They look at how we can all be truly happy by making a few adjustments in our thinking, not by getting a quick fix.

Our Goal In Life Is Happiness

Among the numerous interesting things about the Dalai Lama, one you cannot forget too easily is his soft but firm belief that the main aim of our life is to pursue happiness. Instead of money, fame, power, or anything, we are only left with pure, unadulterated joy. However, he does not speak of transient mirth that comes with buying an iPhone or receiving a new promotion at the workplace. He instead means the satisfaction that, with time, turns into a part of you, accompanies you through the stormy weathers of life, and beyond.

I used to know a friend who kept chasing one profession after another. Upon getting a promotion, he would be happy for one week and then start thinking of another goal. His mantra became to be satisfied when he achieves something. However, after reading this book, he started thinking, How can I be happy now? That slight shift towards living in the moment defined his life in a significant way.

True and Lasting Happiness Lies in Ourselves

According to the Dalai Lama, true happiness is independent of outside conditions and the same is true for all of us. Instead, it is based on what we feel and think inwardly. For example, two people may encounter the same issue, such as the loss of a job, but their response to this issue may vary completely. One may end up in depression, and the other may see it as a new opportunity.

My neighbor has lost her job due to the recession. Instead of panicking, she gave up on her attempts to find employment, spent her savings on a sabbatical, and traveled to find her passion in life, painting again. She is now selling her art to earn a living and has never been happier. Her situation was not ideal initially, but her internal reaction was the difference maker.

Mind Training as a Muscle

One of the skills that we can build and develop is happiness. You are not only able to work on your physical body in the gym, but you can also work on your mental health with the proper techniques. The Dalai Lama recommends exercise and meditation to build this muscle of happiness.

The first time I tried meditation, I could not sit without getting distracted even for five minutes. My mind was active and would wander between my grocery list, work problems, and random memories. In a couple of weeks, I realized that I was calmer and much more relaxed.

Understanding Joy

The path to real happiness starts with the use of profound compassion and caring about other people. The Dalai Lama characterizes it as an impressive feature that makes one tender and thoughtful. When we become involved in our problems, the truth is that we feel bad. Concentrating and thinking about others is helpful and makes our problems seem minute, in many cases, forgotten. As we care for other individuals, we see so many complex issues that, our issues start looking small.

Let me tell you about a man who volunteered at a homeless shelter. It was a satisfying experience for him to get out of his severe depression caused by a divorce. His emphasis on supporting and assisting people to take control of their lives significantly changed his own thinking. This way, he could slowly enjoy moments of happiness that reminded him of a life before the divorce.

Another Perspective on the Notion of Suffering

Buddhist teachings explain that suffering touches everyone in one way or another. The Dalai Lama does not devise a band-aid solution by telling us to smile mentally; instead, he relates it to self-enlightenment. Every issue that we encounter recompenses us with enormous growth and development and mentally installs the ability to comprehend and have enormous empathy towards the individuals whose lives have also fallen prey to issues.

My cousin had a mammoth of a health complication last year. It was during her recuperation that she realized the satisfaction that comes from routine chores and everyday walks, because they had such an effect on the mental health of a person. Ultimately, her pain enabled her to appreciate the spirit of gratitude, unlike the good times that came with being around family. 

The Significance of Reaching Out to People

To be happy and satisfied, friendship and family relations are required, as the book depicts. The Dalai Lama confirms that we are social animals by saying that it is inherent in us to require other people. The writer of the book states that loneliness is worse than most diseases.

I want to share a tale of a man I met who had what we can all term a successful life. He had a good business that had earned him a beautiful house with fancy cars. The negative side is that he worked too hard to the extent that he was never free and could not be with his family and friends. To add to this, he felt that his life was empty. After reading this book, the man said he began to have weekly dinners with his family and reconnect with his old friends. He continued by saying that his networking proved far more helpful than any business achievement he would have achieved.

How to Manage Anger and Hate

Being driven out of his home country was one of the most challenging circumstances the Dalai Lama had to cope with. Nevertheless, he does not appear to have any sense of bitterness against the oppressor. 

I had a colleague in my office who would steal my ideas. This enraged me for several days. It even influenced my sleep, relations, and work attitude. However, having heard the Dalai Lama, I realized that I was angry and would ask myself: Is this helping me? In the majority of cases, the answer was negative. Over time, I also learnt how to keep my head cool when faced with problems rather than getting angry.

Finding Pearls Beneath the Coarse Surface of Life

At some point, people experience difficulties, which may interfere with their lives. The Dalai Lama gives us unusual insight: Life has even stronger lessons to offer us through intense challenges.

In my school, a teacher was fired because of budget cuts. This would have broken many people, but my teacher was very strong. He got a new job teaching art to children with disabilities. Although it was less than he earned in his former job, it gave him a kind of joy that he could not possibly have in his former job.

Peace of Mind is the Result of Ethical Living

The book explains that ethical living, being honest, fair, and friendly, is a way to be happy and have holistic joy. Breaking our ethics causes inner conflict, which certainly disrupts our peace.

I remember this story about an entrepreneur who lost a lot of money by not compromising on safety precautions on a particular product. He eloquently describes it when he says, “I can sleep at night knowing that no one was hurt because of my decisions. And that is more valuable than money.” Although he made losses, he was not a loser in all aspects. He was happy that he did not compromise his principles. Strength of character brings peace.

Change as a Way of Life

All things come to an end. According to the Dalai Lama, the big irrational attitude towards pain is frequently rooted in rejecting this fundamental idea. We all know that everything in our surroundings is destined to change. Change can take various forms, but it is everywhere.

This is what my grandmother believed in. Everyone thought that she would be devastated when it was time to leave the house she had spent more than fifty years living in. She was the one who surprised us all by completely accepting her new apartment and moving in with excitement. Her motto was, “Why fight something that can not change?” Her later years were much happier due to her attitude toward change.

Happiness is a Daily Practice

The main lesson of the book is that happiness is something that a person should practice every day. The Dalai Lama gives efficient tips like:

• Making intentions in the morning
• Thankfulness is a practice of recognizing the good in life
• Attempting to assist others
• Reviewing your day at night

A friend of mine started leaving a little pad of paper by his bedside about a week ago. He records three things that occur during the day that he is grateful for each night, no matter how insignificant they may be. He said that even when he is at his worst, something is always there, a compliment by a random stranger, a beautiful sunset, or a cup of coffee. The fact that I remember those things has altered my perspective on my life as time goes by.

The Past Never Dies

The best part of the book, The Art of Happiness, is that it does not promise a quick fix. Happiness is not a destination, as The Dalai Lama says. 

I have been practicing these lessons for the past couple of years. Like any other person, I also have good days and bad days. I get angry, worried, or even sad at times. But these feelings have decreased in frequency and degree, and the ability to experience joy is far greater than ever. Although the path to happiness may not be easy, as the Dalai Lama once stated, it is the most valuable journey we can ever undertake.

The theme of this book was inner development because it ignores the outside world. Thus, it is easier to develop a life of genuine happiness and enrich our feeling of belonging.